Deschooling

You've made the decision to homeschool your child(ren). Yay! Now what? Where do you start? Consider Deschooling. 

 

Deschooling encompasses those first few weeks or months of homeschooling where you’re establishing a new norm. It's the process that your family will go through if you transition from a brick-and-mortar school environment to a home one. Deschooling is what happens when kids and parents face the necessary shift in engrained beliefs of what school “should” look like, and how it translates to learning together at home. It may involve working through the sense of loss that leaving a traditional school may bring, as well as facing the realities of being responsible for your child's education. You may have been home with your kids all summer but you'll still need to work through the mental load of not returning to school as planned. If this is your first Fall as homeschoolers, you’re likely trying to stay afloat while making sense of government regulations and learning outcomes as well as expectations of your school board, while grappling with curriculum choices, learning materials and planning models! You may be worried about establishing a routine, setting up extra-curriculars, and trying to find like-minded friends (while possibly dealing with anti-homeschool naysayers on the side). It’s a lot. A LOT!

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Spoiler alert: Homeschooling is not “school at home” -- we can never recreate a school environment in our homes that will replicate the exact school we have left. For some, this will be a relief, for others it will entail a type of grieving period as students and parents mourn the loss of that to which they were accustomed. 

 

The deschooling process will be different for every family, and you may choose to embrace it or not. It’s important to note that we refer to “family” deschooling, because it’s not just children that need to be deschooled, but parents as well. It's an adjustment period for everyone. After attending a traditional school for any amount of time, the general rule of thumb is that students should take approximately one month to deschool for every full year of traditional school that was attended. With this in mind, a student who completed grades K-2 in a school, will likely find the first three months of homeschooling to be challenging. Parents may also feel like they are in uncharted waters. You are, but it's okay! When we step outside of the mainstream, we may find ourselves working really hard to prove that what we're doing works and is a good choice for our family. Try to find at least one other homeschooling parent to talk to, if you feel you need support. There are so many of us out there and we LOVE to talk about homeschooling!    

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So, What IS Deschooling?

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Deschooling is the temporary act of easing into a homeschool environment by taking a break from rigorous academics to establish routine, enjoy the ebb and flow of being home together, and learn some of the “softer” skills that encompass working together all day. It creates space between the brick and mortar school experience and what your homeschool will eventually look like once established. This distance is an important part of long-term homeschooling as it creates the disconnect which will remove the direct comparisons between traditional school and homeschool so that homeschooling doesn't become a school-at-home, and so that your family retains the benefits, flexibility, and individual-focused elements of homeschooling.

Even if you intend to follow a highly academic homeschooling routine, deschooling can be a good place to start. Deschooling doesn’t mean that your kids aren’t learning - it means that they're engaging in unstructured learning time which can sometimes feel like they're not learning. Use this initial deschooling time to observe your child(ren) as they interact with materials to see where the learning is happening. Children are always learning, yet our perception of learning may need to broaden and shift.  We're conditioned from traditional schools to have a very narrow viewpoint of what actually constitutes learning, so you may need to watch your children in-action in order to start recognizing learning when you see it. Deschooling means naturally engaging in a type of learning not valued in traditional schools (ex. bird watching, creating with Lego) and ramping up to a full schedule later. Depending on the age of your child, it may mean starting by teaching math by cooking and baking instead of sitting at the table doing workbooks. It’s about bonding with your kids by reading aloud, and talking about what you’ve read instead of filling in a worksheet or writing a 5-paragraph essay about it. It’s about coming to the realization that Physical Education can be spent running outside at the community park, swimming in the neighbourhood pool, or going on a nature walk. Deschooling is figuring out how to learn and what learning can look like when not within the walls of a school.

 

For many, deschooling is also a time to grieve. It’s a period of time where you (or your kids) are tuned-in to the sense of loss - friendships, support groups, structure, routine - that is felt upon leaving traditional school. For parents, it can mean mourning the loss of school community - connecting with other parents during drop off and pick-up routines, chatting with teachers at the school, and being involved in the Parent Council. It can mean worrying about the loss of group classes, school pageants and assemblies, and teacher role models that will no longer be involved. It's the realization that you suddenly have to figure out how to socialize when you don't know any other homeschoolers, and all of your kids' friends are in school. 

 

For kids who have been pulled out of school, it will mean not seeing their friends every day and not going to a building where they had a “homeroom” and a teacher who cared for them. It might mean missing out on learning the routines and norms of school along with their lessons. It can take a while to accept the loss of school, and to fully embrace the new opportunities that homeschooling affords. However, through the deschooling process, you may come to realize that you can likely do projects, classes, and field trips when other kids are in school and the world is less busy. You can focus on topics of interest and go down rabbit-holes of in-depth learning. You'll probably find that your kids have the energy to engage in extracurricular activities after supper and not have to worry about waking up early to be at school the following day. While deschooling, you may discover that homeschooling allows more family time.

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Allow your family some grace by exploring new ways to learn, and make this time memorable for all of you. There’s no race -- taking it slowly at the beginning will pay off in the long run because you’ll have established relationships and routines that make learning at home easier. If you start homeschooling on day one with a detailed, timed, 8-hour schedule, your kids might hate you before the first week is over. Instead, allow some time to deschool and start slowly. Your kids will remember this as a positive time instead of a negative one, and you’ll be able to get a grip on what your child needs to learn and how you’re going to address those needs.
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Is Deschooling for Everyone? 

You know your family, yourself, and the demands on your time best. If a lack of structure or total departure from routine will be too much for your kids or yourself, or is not possible given your time constraints, then deschooling may not be the best option for you. That's totally fair! Go with what will work best for your unique situation. If you decide not to deschool, remember that the big feelings and emotions (especially for newly homeschooled kids that are transitioning from a brick-and-mortar school), will likely still be present, so you'll want to be aware of the emotional overload that can take place, and find ways to navigate these feelings. If creating a new routine and establishing structured homeschool expectations is your priority, then set up your new learning routines in a way that makes sense for your child and your family! 
 

How Do I Start Deschooling?

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Here are a few suggestions for those first few weeks:

 

• Try starting with a “passion project” on a topic that your child chooses. Ask your child to make a list of topics that they’d like to learn about, and select one to research. Read about the topic, watch videos, and do research together. Take it one step further by presenting the information in a new way (write a story, create a cartoon, make a poster, video or podcast) to share with others. Let your child take a leadership role and take ownership of their learning. Act as a facilitator who helps organize materials for the project, asks questions, and makes suggestions to develop deeper learning.
   

• Play games together - it’s amazing how many math skills are involved in playing Monopoly or Yahtzee! A few of our families' favourite math games are: Blokus, Chess, Prime Climb and Cribbage.
   

• Start or end each day with a read-aloud. No matter what age, studies show that reading aloud to your kids is beneficial. Audiobooks count, too, and may give you time to do something else while your kids are occupied. If you need book suggestions, check out these booklists or go wander around your local library and let your kids choose books to read together. 
   

• Cook/Bake together. Learn to read recipes, measure, and let your child choose what to make. Practice handwriting skills by creating menus, and art skills by decorating.
   

• Let them play. Consider strewing art supplies, knitting needles, dress-up clothes, or other items around the house for kids to “find” and use. Young children learn best through play and in play-rich environments.

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• Get outside together! Explore areas that you wouldn’t normally visit, even in winter. Use a magnifying glass, binoculars, nature journal, and/or sketchbook. For more information and free teaching materials about Nature Journaling, check out John Muir Laws' website. His free download "How to Teach Nature Journaling" is especially great! Another fantastic resource is the 1000 Hours Outside website, which has monthly reading suggestions and hike ideas.
   

• Carve out some Me-Time. Being at home all day with your children can be challenging in its own right, but homeschooling brings it to a new level! Be sure to build some self-care into your routine during the decschooling process in order to have those anchors in place for the future. Consider doing 20 minutes of Yoga With Adriene on YouTube, do some journaling, or schedule time for a run or walk without your kids at some point in your day. Taking care of your own mental and physical health will allow you to be fully engaged with your kids and keep your stress levels regulated! 
   

• Create a Rainy Day Plan! No matter how much you prepare, you'll inevitably need a multitude of activities for when things go awry! To learn how to create a useful set of backup plans, click here.
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Above all, when you start homeschooling, be aware of your preconceived notions of what school “should” be and allow your family the necessary time to deschool. Let go of some of those school-based expectations, and teach your children (and remind yourself) that learning can happen in a multitude of ways and environments, and can be enjoyable. Remember that you may need to start out slow and be extra flexible when learning how to learn together.​